


The Slip-Up

by AidenDorian



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Alternate Universe, M/M, Out of Character, mention of divorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-09 00:19:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15255252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AidenDorian/pseuds/AidenDorian
Summary: Hawkeye gets a Lebanese traditional ceremony from Klinger. What he doesn't know until he performs it with BJ is that it was a marriage ceremony. Now the two doctors are married. Turmoil ensues within the swamp.





	The Slip-Up

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting on this website. I'm open to any constructive criticism. This was not beta read at all. If anyone has any suggestions (and maybe if I should continue this story in other chapters), just let me know.

“How was I supposed to know that’s what that ceremony was for?”

"You told me it was a common Lebanese ceremony Hawkeye!"

“I was going off what Klinger was describing to me, BJ.”

BJ rolled his eyes and stormed out of the swamp, brushing past Winchester on his way. Hawkeye abruptly sat on one of the cots in their relatively small tent.

“Where is BJ going?” Winchester questioned, looking at the defeated Hawkeye.

"Probably off to kill Klinger. For some cultural mix-up," Hawkeye said, looking at the other doctor.

“Oh, that ceremony.”

Hawkeye groaned. He got up and stormed past his tent mate and out of the swamp. The dark-haired man was bound and determined not to let his friend out of this.

Yelling could be heard halfway across the compound. In an instant, Hawkeye knew that it was BJ confronting the corporal. The doctor began to bolt towards the scene as fast as he could. When he reached the two, he began to peel BJ off Klinger.

“Just let me at him,” BJ said through gritted teeth, clenching his fists.

“You don’t need to fight him,” Hawkeye all but growled back.

He shoved his friend even further away from the source of all their current troubles. Hawkeye’s eyes looked around to see almost the whole camp stopped in their tracks. He grabbed BJ’s wrist and went to the swamp. There was no way they were going to have any further conversations out in the open.

“Winchester out,” Hawkeye demanded when the two of them got inside of the swamp.

“But I just sat down,” Winchester whined, looking up from the folding chair he was in.

“I don’t care. I need to talk to Beej by myself. Without you.”

Winchester scoffed but reluctantly left the tent. The two remaining men stared at each other for what seemed like forever.

“You know I don’t like this idea Hawkeye,” BJ said after a few minutes of silence.

“Oh, and I do?” Hawkeye asked, feigning disgust. “We don’t even know if this legal.”

“And if it is? How do I tell Peg that I got married to another man?”

“I’ll tell her,” Hawkeye said, grinning. “I’m sure that it’ll go over well.”

Hawkeye’s response earned a quiet chuckle from BJ. The lighter haired man pulled his friend into a gentle hug. For now, both men seemed to be placent in their situation.

However, it didn’t take long for camp gossip to get to Colonel Porter in his tent. Those three men were instantly called into the colonel’s tent.

Before the elder man stood Klinger, BJ, and Hawkeye.

“What’s this I hear about you two getting married?” Porter asked, motioning to BJ and Hawkeye.

“No need to worry about it,” Hawkeye said, sitting on the edge of the large wooden desk.

“We’ve taken care of it,” BJ said, popping a piece of candy into his mouth. “We’re fine with being married.”

The colonel let an exparted sigh escape his mouth. Between the two of them, plus whatever Klinger did to get involved, was going to give him a heart attack. Porter massaged the bridge of his nose, trying to formulate a plan.

“It’s my fault sir. I gave Hawkeye the idea to try the ceremony,” Klinger finally said, stepping into the conversation.

“Get out Klinger,” all three officers shouted at him.

“Okay. Fine!” Klinger said, slinking out of the office.

After the three of them were left in the office, the conversation turned a bit more serious.

“You’re not going to transfer either of us,” Hawkeye said, not looking at the other man, but trying to break the silence that had fallen.  
"I wasn't planning on it, Pierce."  
“So, we’re good here?” BJ asked as Hawkeye stood up.

“Not quite,” Porter said, standing up as well. “Now I figured this would punishment enough for following the advice of an enlisted man. You two will remain married until the end of the war.”

Hawkeye and BJ looked at each other and then the other doctor. Both had a confused look on their faces.

"What do you mean Colonel?" Hawkeye asked, raising his voice and stepping closer to the older man.

“You might learn a lesson from all of this. Now get out of my office,” Porter said with a calm look on his face.

Hawkeye was the first to storm out of the office. He was followed closely by BJ. The dark-haired man was pissed to say the least. The two men almost ran back to the swamp.

The door slammed shut behind BJ before Hawkeye almost yelled, “I can’t believe that man.”

“Just calm down Hawkeye. You were just getting onto me about being upset.”

Hawkeye slumped onto his cot in a fit of frustration. Silence fell between them for the longest. It was hours before any anger and resentment faded.

However, by the time any hard feelings had faded, they were called into the operating room. The two men were clear across the room from each other, making their usual quips about Winchester.

After things got settled down, Margret made her way to the pair as they sat outside the operating room together.

“I can’t believe that it got one mix up for you to settle down,” she laughed as she sat across the room from them.

“Very funny Margret,” Hawkeye said, rolling his eyes.

BJ put a hand on one of Hawkeye’s knees to try to calm him down. The mustached man that Hawkeye honestly didn’t mind being married. At least not to him.

As he lightly squeezed the other's kneecap, he said, "Be nice Hawkeye. She didn't mean anything by it."

“It’s been a long day,” Hawkeye said, finally calming himself down a bit more.

"You both will do fine. It looks like he does need sleep, however," the head nurse said, paying special mind to mention the last part to BJ.

BJ nodded, standing up. Yanking the other man up, he bid the nurse good night and headed back to the swamp. He nearly had to drag the other man there, but he somehow managed to do it.

Once inside, BJ helped Hawkeye get undressed down to his underwear. A sleepy looked had washed over the dark-haired man’s face. The light-haired man eventually pushed the other onto the cot.

“So, I take it you’re not going to lay down with me?” Hawkeye asked in his tiredness.

“Never said that Hawkeye. Don’t make assumptions,” BJ said, taking his jacket off. “Now scoot over.”

The extremely tired doctor managed to scoot over enough to let the other onto the bed. BJ wrapped an arm around Hawkeye’s waist. The two of them managed to fall asleep rather quickly. Neither of them could hear Winchester coming into the tent.

The other doctor looked over at the spooning doctor’s. A soft laugh escaped his mouth before he walked out again.

Morning came too soon for both Hawkeye and BJ. The sun rose over the camp; however, it wasn’t until noon that the two of them officially rolled out of the bed.

The both somehow managed to stumble into the mess tent; sleep still in their eyes. They made their way through the line almost near silence.

When they go off the food line, they made their way to the least populated table. The only other person at the table was Father Mulcahy.

“Hello Father,” Hawkeye said as he put his tray on the table.

"Hey Hawkeye," Mulcahy said, smiling up at the two of them. "Congrats on the marriage."

Hawkeye stopped short of sitting in his seat. He stared at the command chaplain for a few seconds. The tired doctor couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"Thank you, Father," BJ said, forcing Hawkeye to sit down. "It's not legal though. One of those silly camp marriages."

“Peg will find it funny though,” Hawkeye quipped. “We still need to tell her though.”

The dark-haired man gently nudged BJ’s side with his elbow. The two doctors looked at each other before eating the slip the Army claimed was food. All three men ate in relative silence. There wasn’t much for them to talk about while eating.

Soon their trays were empty. The two doctors and the chaplain exchanged looks between each other.

"If you want me to, I can make that phone call home to your wife BJ," Mulcahy offered to ease any tension.

“You would?” BJ asked, raising an eyebrow.

Mulcahy nodded with a small smile on his face. Relief washed over the two doctors. A weight had been lifted off their chests.

“Thank you, father,” Hawkeye said; his heart rate spiking slightly.

“Peg won’t be as angry now,” BJ added, winking at his faux husband. “The father’s helping us out.”

That one statement earned an honest laugh from Hawkeye. It was one of the ones that made the whole mess tent in its tracks. It had been a while since the camp heard that type of laugh from the dark-haired doctor.

“We’ll talk about this later Beej,” Hawkeye said, getting up with his tray.

It didn’t take him long to get out of the mess tent. Hawkeye stuffed his hands in his pockets. The lanky doctor was going to walk around the smallish camp city to clear his mind.

BJ stayed in the mess tent for a little longer to talk with the father.

“Are you really okay with this Father?” he asked in a hushed tone.

"If it makes Hawkeye happy, then I am fine with whatever he does," Mulcahy said; a sad look appearing on his face.

“Thanks for what you’re doing with Peg,” BJ said, finally getting up from the table.

The mustached doctor exited the mess tent. Instead of going to the swamp, he went to the post-op tent to check on several patients from the night before.

When he got there, he noticed Hawkeye looking at a soldier that he had worked on. It wasn’t unusual, but the two of them seemed to be in a deep conversation about something. That in of itself was unusual for Hawkeye.

“Maybe all this happened for a reason,” the soldier said. “Or someone’s playing a cruel joke on you.”

Hawkeye made a weird face before saying, “I can see a joke being played on me, but I know BJ. He makes me happy in a sick way.”

BJ caught the last snippet of their conversation as he checked on a patient close by. A small smile found its way onto BJ's face. That was the first time that he heard that particular phrase from Hawkeye's mouth. At least about him and not Trapper. 

 

A few weeks later, BJ got a letter from Peg that was thicker than usual. When he finally managed to pull it out, he realized that it was divorce papers and a return envelope for them. He had figured it was going to happen after Father Mulcahy got back with the two of them shortly after his phone call. It wasn’t a huge shock to the man. Peg had told him basically that she was going to send the papers.

Hawkeye glanced over at his tent mate as the papers were plopped down on the only free space that the other could find.

“She actually sent the papers?”

“She did,” BJ said. “I’m going to fill them out later.”

The mustached doctor looked over at the lankier man with a smile on his face. Hawkeye got up from his cot and walked over to him. Gripping the other man's face, a gentle kiss was placed on BJ's lips.

“Been dying to do that,” Hawkeye said, smiling the biggest grin he could muster.

“Could’ve done it sooner,” BJ laughed, kissing the other man back.


End file.
